no changes still sleepy

well, i've been taking 25 mg of paxil for about a week now and have not noticed any changes. i'm still feeling sleepy and tired during the day. i'm still waking up late. i don't have much energy. all i want to do is sleep. sometimes i wake up, get out of bed, check my email, take a shower, etc., then take a nap. maybe i feel like i have nothing to look forward to. i don't know. i have to get my sleep cycle on track because i start work on monday and i have to learn how to wake up early again. i'll have to get used to working five days a week, eight hours a day. i haven't had a regular full-time job since 2002. i did work three weeks last year but quit the job due to depression and anxiety. i had a hard time holding down jobs last year. the depression led me to be hospitalized, etc. and since then i haven't had a steady job. in fact, i've quit jobs on the spot from panic. this new job is going to be a challenge for me. i hope i'll be able to handle the stress and work hours and not be too physically exhausted and worn out. i'm sure the first couple weeks will be a struggle because i haven't done this much work in awhile. but i've done work even though i was medicated. i worked at target for three days in april, and i was on 2 mg of risperdal at the time. although i was on a higher dose of wellbutrin. i can't figure out if the paxil is making me sleepy during the day. i felt a little bit more in charge of my life and my decisions when i was living on my own. now that i've moved back home, i feel less motivated. well, the only thing motivating me is the hope that i'll be able to live on my own again someday. it just seems so far away. i won't make enough money at the county to get my own place. i'm in so much debt from grad school. oh well. i guess i take it one day at a time.

so for now my medication regime looks like this:

paxil cr 25 mg
wellbutrin sr 100 mg

i also take diltiazem cd 120 mg for my heart arrhythmia.

i talked to my therapist today about my mom, who has been making comments about therapy and my medications. basically, my mom wanted to know what i was doing today and i told her i had an appointment for therapy. then she said that she didn't think i needed to see a therapist twice a week because it was a waste of money and she didn't think i needed therapy anymore because i was doing okay. my mom also said the other day that she didn't think i should take my heart medication anymore and wanted to know how long i was going to be on my antidepressants because she said there are all kinds of side-effects and they could damage my organs and she doesn't want me to be on meds all my life. but what if i have to be on meds all my life? and what if i feel like i need therapy for awhile, maybe all my life, for however long i'll be here because i don't know how much longer i want to be here anyway. anyway, my therapist told me i should stand up for myself and just tell my mom thanks for your concern but i don't agree. i don't see what difference it will make. my mom is still going to say what she wants. my therapist said i had to do it for me. but i have in the past and it doesn't make me feel any better. maybe my therapist is trying to motivate me to be more assertive and feel more like an adult even though i live at home. i feel trapped. i'm not where i want to be. this isn't the life i wanted. but it's what i got and i chose it. i can't blame anyone but me. although my therapist tells me that i can't blame myself, because it wasn't my fault i got sick.