stash

my therapist wants me to flush my stock of extra meds, i.e. the ones i'm not using. i've been stashing them. i don't have much but i like to keep them just in case. i don't want to flush them. it takes awhile to build up a stash. she said if i don't flush them by friday she's going to call my psychiatrist. i'm really not suicidal. i just like to have them around. i'm feeling really lame, unenthusiastic. i don't feel creative. i'm having trouble writing again. i don't feel interested in doing much of anything. i wonder if i should go off meds altogether because i don't feel passionate or lively about anything. i feel emotionless, uninvolved, uninterested. i feel like my life is meaningless. but i gotta say, at least i'm not in lebanon right now. the news is just depressing.